Latest Jokes

Two kids talking: “Have you noticed, if you pass your exams everyone says you get your brains from your parents, but if you fail your exams everyone says you’re stupid.”

“Now my motto in life,” said the school chaplain, “is work hard, play hard and pray hard. How about you, Harriet?”
“My motto is let bygones be bygones.”
“That’s good. Why did you choose that?”
“Then I wouldn’t have to take any history classes!”

“It’s no good, sir,” said the hopeless pupil to his English teacher, ‘I try to learn, but everything you say goes in both ears and out the other.”
“Goes in both ears and out the other?” asked the puzzled teacher, “but you only have two ears, son.”
“You see, sir,” I’m no good at math, either!”

“Alfred, if I had 20 marbles in my right pants pocket, 20 marbles in my left pants pocket, 40 marbles in my right hip pocket, and 40 marbles in may left hip pocket, what would I have?”

“Heavy pants, sir!”