Latest Jokes

Q. Why did Mrs. Smokey the Bear divorce Smokey the Bear?
A. Because every time she got hot, he'd beat her with a shovel!

Two grapes go on a date. At the end of the date the boy grape took the girl grape home gave her a kiss and told her that it was their only date. She started to cry and when he asked her if she was ok. She said, "No, I'm crushed!"

Out in the middle of nowhere a UFO drops out of the sky at a gas station. The aliens, not concerned, go out of the ship. The ship even has the letters UFO emblazoned on the side. While the owner of the station stands speechless, his young employee goes and fills up their tank and even waves as they pull off.

After they’re gone the owner looks shocked at his employee. He says, "Do you realize what just happened?"

"Yeah?” he replied?

"Didn’t you see the letters UFO?"

"Yeah,” he repeats, "and?"

"Do you know what that means?"

"Gee boss, I've been working here for 5 years, of course I know what it means! It means 'Unleaded Fuel Only'."

A man walks into a pub and he asks the barman for a pint. All of a sudden he notices Vincent Van Gogh over the other side of the bar. The man asks, "Do you wanna pint, mate?" and Van Gogh says, "No thanks, I've got one ear!"