Latest Jokes

3 votes
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Working in an ophthalmology practice that specializes in LASIK surgery, I am expected to comfort nervous patients. But prior to one operation, the patient was so nervous she was actually shaking.

Nothing I said to her would comfort her so after the doctor finished on the first eye and before he began on the second I wanted her to know the surgery was going well.

"There," I said, patting her hand reassuringly, "now you only have one eye left."

3 votes

posted by "Merkv814" |
$25.00 won 9 votes

When I moved into my new igloo my friends threw me a surprise house-warming party.

Now I'm homeless.

9 votes

CATEGORY Puns
Joke Won 2nd Place won $25.00
posted by "Gegg Smith" |
$7.00 won 4 votes

One minute you're young and fun...

The next minute you're turning down the stereo in the car so you can see better.

4 votes

Joke Won 8th Place won $7.00
posted by "wadejagz" |
3 votes
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What did the former boxer-turned-barista ask his patrons?

"Ya want one lump or two???"

3 votes

posted by "Wano U" |