Working in an ophthalmology practice that specializes in LASIK surgery, I am expected to comfort nervous patients. But prior to one operation, the patient was so nervous she was actually shaking.
Nothing I said to her would comfort her so after the doctor finished on the first eye and before he began on the second I wanted her to know the surgery was going well.
"There," I said, patting her hand reassuringly, "now you only have one eye left."
When I moved into my new igloo my friends threw me a surprise house-warming party.
Now I'm homeless.
One minute you're young and fun...
The next minute you're turning down the stereo in the car so you can see better.
What did the former boxer-turned-barista ask his patrons?
"Ya want one lump or two???"