Lawyer: Doctor, did you say he was shot in the woods?
Doctor: No, I said he was shot in the lumbar region.
I lost my job as a spy. I was supposed to stand in a certain location and report if anyone picked up a package left on a park bench.
It began to rain badly and not far from my location I saw a park sign with a small roof over it. I took cover from rain for the worst part, but upon return to my post the package was gone.
Apparently my supervisors didn’t like my report when I reminded them the number one rule for spies is to remain under cover at all times.
I was sitting in a Chinese restaurant last night and it suddenly went dark. The waiter came over and said: "You all need to start clapping!"
"What a weirdo," I thought.
Anyway we all started to clap and the lights came on!
I said: "How did that happen?"
He replied: "Old Chinese proverb, many hands make light work."
A graverdigger, walking in the streets of a small town chanced to turn and noticed two doctors walking behind him. He stopped until they passed and then followed on behind them.
"And why this?" asked the doctors.
"I know my place in this procession," he said.