Latest Jokes

Children are like pancakes.

The first one always comes out a little weird.

An elderly couple went to a counselor as to settle a on going argument.

Counselor: OK, what's going on here!

Husband: My wife keeps tying strings on my finger while I sleep. She then insults me if I ask her about it.

Wife: Not true and I don't want to talk about it any longer.

Counselor: Communication is paramount, I'd like to see you two talk to each other and resolve this issue yourself. Come back in two weeks so I can check on your progress.

Husband: Fine but I'd better tie a string on my finger so I can remember it.

Wife: Doh!

If I like it, it's mine.

If I can take it away from you, it's mine.

If I had it a while ago, it's mine.

If I say it is mine, it's mine.

If I saw it first, it's mine.

If you're having fun with it, it's definitely mine.

If you lay it down, it's mine.

If it's broken, it's yours.