Nutritionist: You should eat 1200 calories a day.
Me: OK, and how many at night?
The Prince asked the beautiful Princess... "Will you marry me?"
The Princess said "NO!"
And the Prince lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf and dated women half his age and drank beer and scotch and had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and farted whenever he wanted.
The End
Teacher: What did you do over the long weekend?
Little Johnny: We went to Samson hill for a picnic but dad forgot to load the picnic basket. My mom looked at dad put her wrist on her hip and began to tap her toe. In seconds my dad was a hundred yards away at the bottom of the hill.
Teacher: So your dad ran away?
Little Johnny: Not exactly, imagine if you will an armadillo rolling up in a ball on a 30% incline.
I was sending out a business email to several people and shortly thereafter my daughter, Margaret, sent back a message, “I think this was meant for a different Margaret.”
So I tried again, but didn’t realize my auto-fill kept adding daughter Margaret to the email, not the Margaret I was trying to email.
Another email from the daughter came: “You did it again. Wrong Margaret.”
I replied, “This is frustrating. There’s just one way to solve this. Daughter, you need to change your name.”