A college professor walked into a bas and said, “Bring me a martinus.”
The bartender smiled and said, “You mean martini?”
“If I want more than one,” snapped the professor, “I’ll order them”
A woman sat down on a park bench, glanced around and decided to stretch out her legs on the seat and relax. After a while, a beggar came up to her and said, "Hello, luv, how's about us going for a walk together?"
"How dare you," retorted the woman, "I'm not one of your cheap pickups!"
Well then," said the tramp, "what are you doing in my bed?"
At a party the hostess served a guest a cup of punch and told him it was spiked.
Next, she served some to a minister. “I would rather commit adultery than allow liquor to pass my lips!” he shouted.
Hearing this, the first man poured his punch back and said, “I didn’t know we had a choice!”
Teacher to a student: "Can you think of a solution to end unemployment?"
"Yes, sir! I'd put all the men on one island and the women on another."
"And what would they be doing then?"
"Building boats!"