A woman sat down on a park bench, glanced around and decided to stretch out her legs on the seat and relax. After a while, a beggar came up to her and said, "Hello, luv, how's about us going for a walk together?"
"How dare you," retorted the woman, "I'm not one of your cheap pickups!"
Well then," said the tramp, "what are you doing in my bed?"
Teacher to a student: "Can you think of a solution to end unemployment?"
"Yes, sir! I'd put all the men on one island and the women on another."
"And what would they be doing then?"
"Building boats!"
Q. What's te definition of a bachelor pad?
A. All the house plants are dead, but there's something growing in the refrigerator.
At a party the hostess served a guest a cup of punch and told him it was spiked.
Next, she served some to a minister. “I would rather commit adultery than allow liquor to pass my lips!” he shouted.
Hearing this, the first man poured his punch back and said, “I didn’t know we had a choice!”