Latest Jokes

A very ugly man walking down the street comes across a most beautiful expensively dressed woman. She asks him please come with me; I have a job for you. Being the first time that any woman talked to him he was flabbergasted. He blindly follows her and ends up in a goldsmith's shop. Pointing to the ugly guy the woman tells the goldsmith "looks like this one" and she leaves the shop without a word to the ugly man. Confused, the ugly man tells the goldsmith the story and asks him if he has the slightest idea on why he was brought to him. The goldsmith says, well, it may be disturbing to know that she wanted a ring made for her with a devils face on it. I told her I had never seen a devil before

Only in America do we chain $2.00 ink pens to the counter but leave our $58,000 cars out in the driveway.

1.Happiness is only a shoe shop away
2.If you fart it is blamed on the nearest man
3.It is always the mans fault if the car goes wrong
4.Chocolate can really solve problems
5.You can end a fight by crying
6.You have the right to be a pain every month

1.you always get the blame if something goes wrong
2.the kids always see you as the one that tells them to tidy their room and that they can't get a dog
3.The kitchen
4.People annoy you at totally the wrong time with their problems
5. The week after your period no one likes you
6.If you break up your relationship you only get half your cds back

Two cowboy ranchers in Texas, they each had their own horse, but they could never tell them apart. So the first cowboy said, "I've got it!" The second cowboy said "What?" "I'll shave the mane on my horse." Let's do it!” So the cowboy shaves the mane on his horse. But after a while the mane grew back. The cowboys are having a really hard time telling them apart. Then the one cowboy said, "I've got it! "What? What? What’s your idea now? says the other" "I'll cut the tail on my horse really small." "Alright! Let's do it!" So he cut the tail really short. But after a while it grew back. "Then the second cowboy said, "OK, this time I've got it!" You take the black one and I'll take white one!!!!"