Latest Jokes

A wealthy Frenchman was showing off his yachts.

“This is un, this is deux, this is trois, this is quatre, this is sees…”

“What happened to five?” his wife asked.

“Cinq,” he answered.

Passing an office building late one night, the lady saw a sign that said, "Press bell for night watchman."

She did so, and after several minutes she heard the watchman clomping down the stairs. The uniformed man proceeded to unlock first one gate, then another, shut down the alarm system, and finally made his way through the revolving door.

"Well," he snarled at her, "what do you want?"

"I just wanted to know why you can't ring the doorbell for yourself?"

It was our great aunt's birthday, so we decided to call her up and sing "Happy Birthday."

Only trouble was we dialed the wrong number.

"Don't let it bother you," said the voice on the other end, "you need all the practice you can get."

After shopping for most of the day, a couple returns to find their car has been stolen. They go to the police station to make a full report. Then, a detective drives them back to the parking lot to see if any evidence can be found at the scene of the crime. To their amazement, the car has been returned.

There is an envelope on the windshield with a note of apology and two tickets to a music concert. The note reads, "I apologize for taking your car, but my wife was having a baby and I had to hot-wire your ignition to rush her to the hospital. Please forgive the inconvenience. Here are two tickets for tonight's concert of Garth Brooks, the country-and-western music star."

Their faith in humanity restored, the couple attend the concert and return home late. They find their house has been robbed. Valuable goods have been taken from throughout the house. And, there is a note on the door reading, "Well, you still have your car. I have to put my newly born kid through college."