Latest Jokes

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Two Martians landed on a corner traffic light.

“I saw her first,” one said.

“So what?” the other Martian replied. “I’m the one she winked at.”

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posted by "iqannnylirod" |
2 votes
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Starving after hours of driving nonstop, my husband and I pulled over at a truck stop. While he gassed up the car, I went into the restaurant and placed our order to go.

After writing it all down, the girl behind the register asked, “Will that be all for you?”

“No,” I replied a bit defensively. “Some of it’s for my husband.”

2 votes

posted by "Bhanu Sandesh" |
$8.00 won 6 votes

“I love my job,” a farmer says out loud.

A sheep replies, “Ha! All you do is boss me around all day!”

The farmer, clearly upset by this responds, “What did you just say?”

The sheep replies, “You herd me!”

6 votes

CATEGORY Farmer Jokes
Joke Won 7th Place won $8.00
posted by "Ryan Faidley" |
3 votes

Deciding to take a day off from his important job, a young hot-shot broker went back to visit some of his professors at his old school. Entering the school, he saw a dog attacking a small child. He quickly jumped on the dog and strangled it.

The next day, the local paper reported the story with the headline "Valiant Student Saves Boy From Fearsome Dog."

The broker called the editor of the paper and strongly suggested that a correction be issued, pointing out that he was no longer a student, but a successful Wall Street broker.

The following day, the paper issued a correction, with a headline that read, "Pompous Stock Broker Kills School Mascot."

3 votes

CATEGORY School Jokes
posted by "Merkv814" |