During the historic first manned mission to Mars, two Astronauts were charting the Martian surface.
"Look at that," said one to the other, "how beautiful this alien landscape is, untouched by man."
At that point, he was cut off, as he found his radio communications knocked out by unknown interference. They followed the source of the interference until they reached the rim of a crater. "Do you see what the source of that noise is?" asked the first astronaut.
"I don't know," said the second, "but it might be coming from that Starbucks behind you."
Carol: What’s your pet pig’s name?
Alice: Ballpoint.
Carol: Is that his real name?
Alice: No, that’s his pen name.
Bob: What are you doing with a pencil and paper?
Ted: I’m writing a letter to my brother.
Bob: But you don’t know how to write.
Ted: That’s okay, my brother can’t read.
There was once a bass guitar player that was getting a divorce from his wife. The court ordered that his wife was guaranteed to HALF of what he owned.
So she got his E string and his D string.