Latest Jokes

A teenage girl shopped at the mall and stopped at the perfume counter.

She sees, "My Sin", "Desire", and "Ecstasy".

She says to the salesperson, "I don't want to get emotionally involved... I just want to smell nice."

A barhopping fellow, four sheets to the wind, stumbles into a bar and declares "I'm buying everyone in the bar a drink! Line 'em up, bartender!"

So the bartender pours everyone a drink, and frivolity commences until the bartender says to that first guy, "OK, that'll be $210."

The drunk guy says, "I don't have that kind of money!"

The bartender throws him out. A few minutes later, the drunk staggers back into the bar. This time he says, "I'm buying everyone in this bar a drink! Except for you bartender, when you drink, you get nasty."

Engineering classes at the University of Maryland are tough, and struggling students sometimes go to extremes in order to pass. Grading exams one semester, I got to this question: "What is the relationship between kinetic and potential energy?"

One student, obviously stumped, decided to get clever and wrote, "As far as I know, they're just friends, but there could be something else going on there."

Ferne Southern said she was staying with her 8-year-old granddaughter, Brooke, while her parents were out of town.

Brooke was delaying bedtime, as usual, so her grandmother told her about counting sheep to fall asleep.

The 8-year-old thought that was a good idea. Everything was quiet for a while. But just as grandmother was dozing off, a voice sounded:

"Nana?"

"Yes?"

"There are 38."