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Favorite this joke My wife has been missing a week now.
The police said to prepare for the worst.
So, I had to go down to Goodwill to get all of her clothes back.
Yesterday, I was in the kitchen planning dinner, and noticed that the clock had stopped. That really put me behind for my day, so today I decided that I'd better stop at the store for a AA battery.
I found a clerk, and said "Please point me to where the batteries are, I need one in my kitchen."
The clerk asked, "Is it for a clock?"
I said, "I don't know, that's why I need a battery."
An English professor complained to the pet shop proprietor, "The parrot I purchased uses improper language."
"I'm surprised," said the owner. "I've never taught that bird to swear."
"Oh, it isn't that," explained the professor. "But yesterday I heard him split an infinitive."
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