Latest Jokes

I said to my doctor, "I'm having serious problems with my memory."

He said, "Give me an example."

I said, "The other day I spent two hours in a multi-story car park trying to remember where I'd parked my car."

He laughed and said, "That's nothing to worry about, we've all done that."

I said, "But I don't own a car."

My wife and I went to the dog park yesterday. There was an elderly lady trying to coax her resistant toy poodle to come to her.

Being one that doesn’t mind helping others I picked up the little critter and passed it over to her.

She scowled at me and scurried off. I mentioned to my wife the lady wasn’t very grateful.

My wife replied by saying, “Perhaps you shouldn’t have used the pooper scooper.”

What's worse than raining cats and dogs?

Hailing taxis!

A funeral procession is going up a steep hill on Main Street when the door of the hearse flies open, the coffin falls out, speeds down Main Street into a pharmacy and crashes into the counter.

The lid pops open and the deceased says to the astonished pharmacist, "You got anything to stop this coffin?"