Latest Jokes

Me (texting): Are we still on for today?

Reply Received: You don’t have to text me this every morning! As your boss, trust me when I say, WE ARE "ON" FOR WORK EVERYDAY, MON - FRI!

A group of elementary school students were on a field trip to the local police station. Several of the children were fascinated by the wanted posters on the wall.

Little Johnny raised his hand and asked the police officer giving them the tour who the people on the wall were.

"Those are pictures of criminals we are looking for," answered the policeman. "We call those wanted posters."

Little Johnny looked puzzled. He raised his hand back up into the air. "Well," he wondered, "why didn't you just keep them when you took their pictures?"

One day, after a man had his annual physical, the doctor came out and said, "You had a great checkup. Is there anything that you'd like to talk about or ask me?"

"Well," he said, "I was thinking about getting a vasectomy."

"That's a pretty big decision. Have you talked it over with your family?"

"Yeah, and they're in favor 12 to 1."

Genie: I shall grant you 3 wishes!

Me: I wish for a world without lawyers.

Genie: Done! You have no more wishes.

Me: But you said three?

Genie: Well go ahead, sue me.