Grumpy Old Man to his wife: "Why didn't any of the books I donated sell at the church rummage sale?"
His wife: "I'm thinking it may have gone better if you hadn't torn out the pages you didn't like."
In the public library, a man with his new library card questioned the pretty librarian.
“Do you mean to say,” he asked, “that with this card I may take out any book I want?”
“Yes,” she answered.
“And may I take out record albums, too?”
“Yes, you may.”
“May I take you out?” he ventured.
Drawing herself up to her full height, she replied, “The librarians, sir, are for reference only.”
There's this new cryptocurrency called Decibel...
It's a sound investment.
My wife threatened to divorce me when I said I was going to give our daughter a silly name.
So I called her Bluff.