Latest Jokes

What did one bank robber say to her partner when she managed to get them caught?

"Who ever said that crime doesn't pay must have worked with you!"

Just as I arrived home after working the night shift, my wife told me to go checkout our five-year-old son's bed.  When I entered Jimmie's room, I saw that his bed had collapsed and the mattress was sitting on the floor. 

"What happened?" I asked him. 

He responded, "God did it." 

Interesting, I thought, and went back to tell my wife.  Laughing she said that when she had heard the crash, she ran into Jimmie's room, saying, "Oh God, what have you done now?"

The little boy scurried into the mom & pop grocery store with a worried look on his face, handing the clerk a dollar bill.

"What’s this for, sonny?"

"Momma says all she wants is peas and quiet... do you have that?"

A handyman was working for a temple in Allentown, PA, had asked for a raise and was turned down. He decided to quit and went out to look for work.

First he went to a Catholic church and was told that in order to work there he would have to answer one question.

The priest asked, "Where was Jesus born?"

The man answered, "Pittsburgh," and was shown the door.

He then went to a Baptist church. The minister told him that in order to get a job there he would have to answer a question.

He was asked, "Where was Jesus born?"

The man answered, "Philadelphia."

He was dismissed.

Walking away, he encountered the rabbi who was looking for him. The rabbi exclaimed, "The board approved your raise. Please come back immediately."

The man said to the rabbi, "I will come back only if you answer a question. Where was Jesus born?

The rabbi says, "Bethlehem."

"HA!" cries the man. "I knew it was somewhere in Pennsylvania."