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Favorite this joke I can’t believe someone broke into my house and stole all of my fruit.
I am peachless.
It seems I have spent a lifetime of mouthing mechanically, “Say thank you... Sit up straight... Use your napkin... Close your mouth when you chew... Don’t lean back in your chair...”
Just when I finally got my husband squared away, the kids came along.
Grumpy Old Man to his wife: "Why didn't any of the books I donated sell at the church rummage sale?"
His wife: "I'm thinking it may have gone better if you hadn't torn out the pages you didn't like."
In the public library, a man with his new library card questioned the pretty librarian.
“Do you mean to say,” he asked, “that with this card I may take out any book I want?”
“Yes,” she answered.
“And may I take out record albums, too?”
“Yes, you may.”
“May I take you out?” he ventured.
Drawing herself up to her full height, she replied, “The librarians, sir, are for reference only.”
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