Blowing Your Buffer - Losing your train of thought.
Career-Limiting Move (CLM) - Trashing your boss while he or she is within earshot.
Percussive Maintenance - The fine art of whacking an electronic device to get it to work again.
Ohnosecond - That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake.
Seagull Manager - A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, poops all over everything, and then leaves.
Flight Risk - Used to describe employees who are suspected of planning to leave the company or department soon.
Chainsaw Consultant - An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee head count, leaving the brass with clean hands.
Blamestorming - Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed and who was responsible.
404 - Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not Found" "Don't bother asking him... he's 404, man."
While I was working in the men's section of a department store, a woman asked me to help her choose a white dress shirt for her husband.
When I asked about his size, the woman looked stumped at first, then her face brightened. She held up her hands, forming a circle with her forefingers and thumbs.
"I don't know his size," she said, "but my hands fit PERFECTLY around his neck."
Five year old Little Frankie got a new pair of shoes. His father said, "Frankie you can't get in the mud puddles with these new shoes."
Frankie's father watches as Frankie bounds out the front door, goes to the nearest large mud puddle and stomps in many times. Frankie runs back into the house with a grin from ear to ear proclaiming, "Oh yes, you can!"