While my parents were making their funeral arrangements, the cemetery salesman pointed out a plot that he thought they would like. “You’ll have a beautiful view of the swan pond,” he assured them.
Dad wasn’t sold. Without missing a beat he told the salesman, “Unless you’re including a periscope with my casket, I don’t know how I’m going to enjoy that.”
A mom and her children watched a PBS special showing the birth of a baby. One fascinated child asked, "Mom, does that hurt?"
"Oh, yes, it does," she said, remembering her difficult deliveries.
"Wow," said the kid. "Does it hurt the mother, too?"