Latest Jokes

$25.00 won 9 votes

A new remote control for your television was being developed that enables the truly lazy to surf channels while moving even less muscles than before. The new device totally eliminates the need to stretch your arm that little bit more from your couch, to get the remote directly in front of the TV. Now the only muscle you need to move is your finger.

This is just one more step to inventing technologies that turn people into furniture, and their brains into Jell-O.
The company spokesman indicated it wanted to refine the product even more by making it thought-controlled, thereby completely removing the need for any sort of muscle movement at all, but this wouldn't work because it has been discovered that most TV addicts are completely incapable of any kind of thought at all.

9 votes

Joke Won 2nd Place won $25.00
posted by "Egbert" |
2 votes

An old farmer wins the ten million dollar lottery and is being interviewed. The reporter asked what he is going to do with all the money.

"Oh, I reckon the first thing I'll do is go and pay a few bills."

"And what about the rest?" the reporter continued.

The farmer shrugs. "Well, I guess they'll just have to wait."

2 votes

CATEGORY Farmer Jokes
posted by "HENNE" |
$25.00 won 7 votes
 

Your mama's teeth are so rotten...

When she smiles... it looks like dice!

7 votes

CATEGORY Yo Momma Jokes
Joke Won 2nd Place won $25.00
posted by "Egbert" |
$5.00 won 4 votes
 

Two lazy-bones are fast asleep. A thief comes in, pulls the blanket from the bed, and makes off with it. One of them is aware of what happened and says to the other, "Get up! Go after the guy who stole our blanket!"

The other responds, "Forget it. When he comes back to take the mattress, let's grab him then."

4 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
Joke Won 10th Place won $5.00
posted by "Retired Terp" |