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Favorite this joke A scratch golfer hits his ball three hundred yards straight down the fairway, and it hits a sprinkler and careens off into the woods. He finds the ball, but trees surround it. He is pissed, says what the hell, grabs his nine-iron, and hits the ball as hard as he can. It bounces off a tree back at the golfer’s head and kills him.
He arrives in heaven, and God himself is at the Pearly Gates to greet him. Looking up his records, God sees that the guy golf’s and says, “Are you any good?”
The golfer looks at God and says, “I got here in two, didn’t I?”
I hate those people who knock on your door and tell you you need to get “saved” or you'll “burn”...
Stupid firemen.
My three favorite things are eating my family and not using commas.
10 Christian Truths...
1. Some people are kind, polite, and sweet-spirited-until you try to sit in their pews.
2. Many folks want to serve God, but only as advisers.
3. It is easier to preach ten sermons than it is to live one.
4. The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose, but mosquitoes come close.
5. People are funny, they want the front of the bus, the middle of the road, and the back of the church.
6. Opportunity may knock once, but temptation bangs on your front door forever.
7. Quit griping about your church; if it was perfect, you couldn't belong.
8. The phrase that is guaranteed to wake up an audience: "And in conclusion."
9. If the church wants a better pastor, it only needs to pray for the one it has.
10. Outside of traffic, there is nothing that holds this country back as much as committees.
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