Latest Jokes

A lady went into a pet shop to buy a bird. She saw one that interested her. “What kind of bird is that?” she asked the salesman.

“That is a crunch bird,” he replied. Let me show you what he can do.

“Crunch bird, my paper!” the man ordered. The bird flew down and in one gulp ate up the sheet of paper.

“Crunch bird, my pencil!” The crunch bird swooped down and swallowed the pencil.

“He’s wonderful!” said the lady. “I’ll buy him.”

The lady brought the bird home. Her husband looked at the bird and wondered what kind of bird it was. He had never seen a bird quite like it before.

“That, my dear,” the wife boasted, “is a crunch bird.”

The husband scratched his head. “Crunch bird?” he said. “Crunch bird, my foot!”

Patient: "Doctor, what I need is something to stir me up... something to get me fired up and put me in a fighting mood. Did you put anything like that in this prescription?"

Doctor: "No, not in the prescription. You'll find that in the bill."

I hope Elon Musk never gets into a scandal...

Elon-gate would be really drawn out.