Latest Jokes

$9.00 won 6 votes

My uncle, known for his heavy foot, was stopped by high patrol for driving 88 miles per hour in a 60 miles per hour zone.

Uncle: "Officer, was I driving too fast."

Officer: "No, I'm not giving you a speeding ticket. I'm ticketing you for flying too low without a pilot's license."

6 votes

CATEGORY Police Jokes
Joke Won 6th Place won $9.00
posted by "Egbert" |
2 votes
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Prior to our wedding, David and I met with the minister to discuss our marriage ceremony and various traditions, such as lighting the unity candle from two individual candles.

Couples usually blow out the two candles as a sign of becoming one. Our minister said that many people were now leaving their individual candles lit to signify independence and personal freedom. He asked if we wanted to extinguish our candles or leave them burning.

After thinking about it, David replied, "How about if we leave mine lit and blow out hers?"

2 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
posted by "HENNE" |
$12.00 won 8 votes

I decided to quit my job as a personal trainer because I don't feel I'm fit enough for the job...

I’ve handed in my 'Too Weak' notice.

8 votes

CATEGORY Puns
Joke Won 4th Place won $12.00
posted by "Danny Jackson" |
$8.00 won 6 votes

I was in the supermarket the other day when this guy threw a block of Cheddar at me.

Outraged, I shouted: “Well that’s not very mature, is it?!”

6 votes

CATEGORY Puns
Joke Won 7th Place won $8.00
posted by "Danny Jackson" |