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Favorite this joke Sometimes I feel like my life is a movie.
I can’t complain, it’s a wonderful life.
Besides I’m still here, it’s not like I’m gone with the wind.
My friends tiny Pomapoo named Victory always goes after my shoe laces when I sit on her sofa.
You might say I’m forced to snatch de' feet from the jaws of victory.
I think my son is a serious hockey fan.
I told him I was going to the restroom and he asked, "A two-minute minor or a five-minute major?"
A veterinarian surgeon had a bad day, but when he got home from tending to all the sick animals, his wife was waiting with a long cool drink and a romantic candle-lit dinner. After dinner, they had a few more drinks and went happily to bed.
At about 2:00 in the morning, the phone rang. "Is this the vet?" asked an elderly lady.
"Yes, it is," replied the vet, "Is this an emergency?"
"Well, sort of," said the elderly lady, "There's a whole bunch of cats on the roof outside making a terrible noise mating, and I can't get to sleep. What can I do about it?"
There was a sharp intake of breath from the vet, who then patiently replied, "Open the window and tell them they're wanted on the phone."
"Really?" said the elderly lady, "Will that stop them?"
"Well, it should," said the vet, "It stopped ME!"
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