Latest Jokes

I went to the doctor to see if he can help me to stop smoking .

He suggested that every time I felt like smoking I should reach for a chocolate bar.

It didn't work, because no matter how hard I tried I couldn't get the chocolate bar to light.

I just finished candy shopping for Halloween.

That’s when the 55 and over seniors in golf carts show up for trick or trick, in my community.

They will have there choice of: Prilosec; Pepto, Zyrtec, Mylanta, or the ever popular, Gas-X.

Duck #1: "Quack."

Duck #2: "Quack."

Duck #3: "Quack, Quack."

Duck #1 takes out a gun and shoots Duck #3.

Duck #2: "Why did you shoot him?"

Duck #1: "He knew too much."

I tried to sue a company that sold an expensive camera that wouldn’t focus.

There was no resolution.