Duck #1: "Quack."
Duck #2: "Quack."
Duck #3: "Quack, Quack."
Duck #1 takes out a gun and shoots Duck #3.
Duck #2: "Why did you shoot him?"
Duck #1: "He knew too much."
I tried to sue a company that sold an expensive camera that wouldn’t focus.
There was no resolution.
Man: I cannot sleep at night, I keep seeing donkeys playing football.
Doctor: I am giving you some medicine, start using it tonight.
Man: Can I start tomorrow?
Doctor: Why tomorrow?
Man: Tonight is the finals.
"Bill's nowhere near the fool he was."
"Has he reformed?"
"No, he's dieting."