Latest Jokes

$12.00 won 11 votes

So a burglar broke into my house...

I put the red dot on his chest and my cat did the rest!

11 votes

CATEGORY Animal Jokes
Joke Won 4th Place won $12.00
posted by "Chloe2015" |
$7.00 won 6 votes

My sister and I are close, and that allows us to be honest with each other. One evening as I prepared for a date, I remarked, "I'm fat."

"No, you're not," she scolded.

"My hair is awful," I said.

"It's lovely," she encouraged.

"I've never looked worse," I whined.

And she said, "Trust me sis, yes you have."

6 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
Joke Won 8th Place won $7.00
posted by "HENNE" |
5 votes

The teacher asks the class: Where do apples grow?

Smart Samantha answers: On apple trees.

The teacher asks the class: Where do pears grow?

Clever Curtis answers: On pear trees.

The teacher asks the class: Where do dates grow?

The class is silent. Little Johnny raises his hand and says: On calendars?

5 votes

posted by "Leibel" |
3 votes
 

I like nice long walks...

Especially when taken by people who annoy me.

3 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |