A climate scientist and a climate-change denier walk into a bar. The climate-change denier goes to the bartender and asks for the strongest drink in the house.
The bartender takes out a bottle and says, "This is Absinthe, about 75% alcohol. Can I sell you a glass?"
The climate-change denier gets all upset and leaves the bar in a huff. The climate scientist says to the bartender, "Those climate-change deniers! You can show them the proof but they still won't buy it!
Now that I am a senior (citizen, that is) I have everything that I ever wanted as a teenager, only 50 years later.
- I don't have to go to school or work.
- I get an allowance every month.
- I have my own pad.
- I don't have a curfew.
- I have a driver's license and my own car.
- I have ID that gets me into bars and the liquor store.
- The people I hang around with are not scared of getting pregnant.
- And I don't have acne.
One evening a grandmother was babysitting her two granddaughters Anne and Betty. Presently, 8:00 PM rolled around.
"Okay, time for bed," she informed the two children who were playing in the den.
"Why?" Anne asked (aged 6). "It's so early!"
"Your father said your bedtime is 8:00," the grandmother said.
"You don't have to listen to him," the Betty (aged 4½) replied.
"Why not?" the grandmother asked.
Betty answered, "Because you're his mother!"