In the zoo, a giraffe, talking to a buffalo says, “Yeah, I know. They can totally get out but they choose to hang around.”
A seal says a walrus, “That’s right. I’ve seen the big hairy one crawling under the bushes outside the gate.”
A woodchuck says to a prairie dog, “I saw it chew up all the grass. I think we might be related somehow. Maybe cousins.”
Opposite the animals, eating their lunch, one landscaper says to the other, “I wonder if they talk to each other?”
A man learned shortly before quitting time that he had to attend a meeting. He tried unsuccessfully to locate his car-pool members to let them know that he would not be leaving with them. Hastily he scribbled a message to one of the fellows and left it on his desk.
"I have a last-minute meeting. Leave without me. Dave."
At 7:00 pm, the man stopped at his desk and found this note: "Meet us at the bar and grill across the street. You drove!
A very angry woman stormed up to the receptionist's desk. "Someone stole my wig while I was having surgery yesterday," she complained.
The doctor came out and tried to calm her down. "I assure you that no one on my staff would have done such a thing," he said. "Why do you think it was taken here?"
"After the operation, I noticed the wig I was wearing was cheap-looking and ugly."
"I think," explained the surgeon gently, "that means your cataract operation was a success."