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Favorite this joke 5. In the middle of smoking a cigarette, you pause for a "cigarette break."
4. Cracking your knuckles leaves you winded.
3. Morning schedule: Wake up, cough for three hours, take nap.
2. In your neighborhood, they give directions by saying, "Go down to the big pile of cigarette butts..."
1. You explain to the nurse that you didn't realize you were in a "non-smoking" iron lung.
I’m a dog trainer. Before I met with a new client, I had her fill out a questionnaire.
One question asked, “Why did you choose this breed?”
My client responded, “I often ask myself this very same question.”
A new pastor was visiting in the homes of his parishioners. At one house it seemed obvious that someone was at home, but no answer came to his repeated knocks at the door. Therefore, he took out a business card and wrote 'Revelation 3:20' on the back of it and stuck it in the door.
When the offering was processed at the next worship service, he found that his card had been returned. Added to it was this cryptic message, 'Genesis 3:10'.
Reaching for his Bible to check out the citation, he soon broke out in laughter. Revelation 3:20 begins 'Behold, I stand at the door and knock.'
Genesis 3:10 reads: 'I heard your voice in the garden and I was afraid for I was naked.'
A professor of clinical psychology at Victoria University in Wellington, New Zealand, included a lecture on crowd psychology in his annual course. To illustrate mass hysteria, he regularly showed TV news footage of teenage crowds greeting the Beatles at the local airport in the 1960's.
One year, when he ran the footage, he heard squeals and bursts of laughter from his students. When the film ended he asked what had caused the hilarity.
Replied one student, "We recognized some of our mothers!"
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