Today we’re going to study about growing a garden. Take out your weeding books.
Today we’re going to study pigs. Does everyone has a pen?
Today I am going to put a new spin on computer learning. Take out your lap tops.
Today we’re going to talk about death. And this will be on your final exam.
A father saw his son out in the backyard cleaning their homemade swing, a rubber tire hanging by a rope from a tree branch. The son was hosing it down, wiping it off, dusting out the inside.
The puzzled father went outside and said, “Son, I thought you were playing on the golf course with your friends this afternoon?”
"I was," replied the boy. "But the golf instructor said I needed to improve my swing."
To increase his tips the local bartender posted the following:
PHONE NOTIFICATION FEES (ADD $1.00 TO INSERT NAME)
$1.00 HE NOT HERE!
$2.00 ON HIS WAY OUT!
$3.00 HE JUST LEFT!
$4.00 HAVEN'T SEEN HIM ALL DAY!
PAY BARTENDER UPON ARRIVAL AT BAR.