Latest Jokes

1 votes
 

One Sunday morning, a wife complained of a bad stomach ache and wouldn't be able to attend the church service, so her husband went alone. When he returned later, he had two black eyes!

When she asked what happened, he explained that when everyone rose to sing a hymn, he noticed the lady in the pew in front of him had her dress tucked into her rear end. Well, being ever the gentleman, he figured she wouldn't want to be seen that way, so he reached forward and pulled it out for her. She turned around and slugged him in the eye!

"But," his wife said, "how did the OTHER eye get black too?"

He explained, "When she turned back around, I was still a bit stunned, but I thought to myself she must have wanted it there. So I reached forward and gently tucked it back in."

1 votes

posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |
2 votes
rating rating rating rating rating
 

An older couple is lying in bed one morning, having just awakened from a good night's sleep. He takes her hand and she responds, "Don't touch me."

"Why not?" he asks.

She answers back, "Because I'm dead."

The husband says, "What are you talking about? We're both lying here in bed together and talking to one another."

She says, "No, I'm definitely dead."

He insists, "You're not dead. What in the world makes you think you're dead?"

"Because I woke up this morning and nothing hurts."

2 votes

CATEGORY Elderly Jokes
posted by "wadejagz" |
$5.00 won 2 votes

I listen to the radio with such frequency that my ear Hertz.

2 votes

CATEGORY Puns
Joke Won 10th Place won $5.00
posted by "pinkgalaxy3" |
6 votes
rating rating rating rating rating
 

What do you call someone who gets mad when they run out of bread?

LACK TOAST INTOLERANT.

6 votes

posted by "Lumbergranny " |