Latest Jokes

$6.00 won 5 votes

Two guys are standing on a rooftop. The first one looked down and asked, "Hey, if I jump down from here, how long do you think it would take me to reach the ground?"

Second one then also looked down and said, "Well, it's pretty high up here. I think it would take at least five days!"

"Really? Okay, here's another one," continues the first. "Do you think if I would die after I jump?"

"Of course you would, five days! How could you survive that long without water?!"

5 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
Joke Won 9th Place won $6.00
posted by "Jenmo1" |
5 votes

There was a captain of a ship who carried around a mysterious black box. Despite repeated questions from his crew, he refused to tell anyone what was inside the box. Years went by, and the mystery of the box grew and grew. It was all the crew could talk about. What was in that mysterious black box?

One day a big storm quickly approached. The wind howled, and the ship was tossed on huge waves. Suddenly, a wave washed across the deck and swept the captain overboard. He disappeared from view and was never seen again.

As soon as the storm passed, a sailor went to the captain's cabin and retrieved the box. The entire crew circled around as he opened it and removed the only contents, a small piece of paper.

On the paper was written, "Starboard is right, port is left."

5 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
posted by "wadejagz" |
4 votes
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A young missionary on his first term in Africa is out away from camp having devotions in a quiet clearing, as was his custom. This one particular day, while reading his Bible, a lion comes and lies down right beside him, so close that the hot warm smell of his breath is wafting over him. He is, as you would suppose, exceedingly uneasy.

He closes his eyes, praying, but when he opens them he sees another lion approach from the brush. The lion proceeds to lie down on the other side of him.

Convinced as he is that this is a test of his faith, he determines to return to his Bible reading. As soon as he does so, the two lions pounce upon him and devour him.

Moral of the story: Don't read between the lions.

4 votes

posted by "wadejagz" |
3 votes

I got pulled over by a cop, and he said, “Do you know the speed limit here is 55 miles per hour?”

So I said, “Oh, that’s okay, I’m not going that far.

3 votes

CATEGORY Police Jokes
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |