There is a guy who has a dog that doesn't obey him. He gets a recommendation for a great dog trainer and decides to go there. The dog owner walks in the room and asks, "Can you train my dog?"
The trainer replies, "Well, I can train your dog, and I will give you a quick demonstration of how I work."
He dumps a box full of bones on the floor and blows a whistle. A dog comes in and makes a skeleton with the bones.
"Wow!" says the dog owner, "What kind of dog is that?"
"That's a nurse's dog," responds the trainer.
Then he blows the whistle again and a second dog comes in the room. That dog makes a big building.
The dog owner says, "Wow! What kind of dog is that?"
"That's an architect's dog," replies the trainer.
Then the trainer blows the whistle again and a third dog comes in. That dog takes all the bones and runs away.
"What kind of dog is that?" says the dog owner.
"That's a lawyer's dog."
A man goes to see the Rabbi. "Rabbi," the man replied, "My wife is poisoning me."
The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asks, "How can that be?"
The man then pleads, "I'm telling you, I'm certain she's poisoning me. What should I do?"
The Rabbi then offers, "Tell you what. Let me talk to her. I'll see what I can find out and I'll let you know."
A week later the Rabbi calls the man and says. "I spoke to your wife… spoke to her on the phone for three hours. You want my advice?"
The man said yes, and the Rabbi replied, "Take the poison."
Two women were shopping. When they started to discuss their home lives, one said, "Seems like all my boyfriend and I do anymore is fight. I've been so upset I've lost 20 pounds in two weeks."
"Why don't you just leave him then?" asked her friend.
"Not yet," the first replied, "I like to lose at least another 10 to 15 pounds first."