When the family car developed a slight knock, the husband asked his wife if she had bought regular or premium gas, but she couldn't remember.
"You probably got the cheaper gas," he said. "That could account for the engine running so rough."
"No, the gas wasn't cheaper!" she replied indignantly.
"Well, how much did it cost?" asked the husband.
"It cost the same as always," said the wife. "I bought the usual thirty dollar's worth."
After separate but lengthy trials two guys meet in a prison-cell and tried to get the upper or lower bunk.
PRISONER #1: How long are you here for?
PRISONER#2 : Twenty-seven years. Hwo long are you in for?
PRISIONER #1 : Twenty-five years.
PRISONER #2 : Well,then, you sleep by the door: you'll get out before me.
A man and a woman were going at it on the sofa when the phone rang.
"Who was that?" the guy asked.
"My husband," she replied.
"Damn, I better get going then," the guy said. "Where was he when he phoned?"
"You can relax," said the woman. "He's downtown playing poker with you."