A pirate walks into a pub on the mainland with an enormous rainbow feathered parrot on his shoulder. The barkeep stares at the rather intimidating bird until he finally gathers enough courage to ask the pirate about it.
He points at the pirate and says, “Where did you get that?”
“Pirate Bay,” the parrot answers, “the place is filled to the brim with ’em!”
Within a year, our Young Couples Department at church had grown from one class of eight active couples to four classes with 56 active couples!
On Baby Dedication Sunday that year, we had 19 babies!
Our Pastor was so excited. He stood in the pulpit that Sunday with 19 babies and their parents facing him. He wanted to brag on these couples and the great job that they had done growing this Young Couples Department. However, here's what he actually said, "Just look at ALL these babies! Folks, this just goes to show what our young couples have been doing!!!"
The laughter started and continued for several minutes. Every time the pastor tried to say something, the laughter would begin again. Finally, the red-faced pastor added, "For which we are grateful."
A couple with three children waited in line at San Francisco's Pier 41 to purchase tickets for a boat trip to Alcatraz. Others watched with varying degrees of sympathy and irritation as the young children fidgeted, whined, and punched one another. The frazzled parents reprimanded them to no avail.
Finally they reached the ticket window. "Five tickets, please," the father said. "Two round trip, three one way."
The Fourth of July weekend was approaching, and Miss Pelham, the nursery school teacher, took the opportunity to tell her class about patriotism.
"We live in a great country," she announced. "One of the things we should be happy about is, in this country we are all free."
Trevor, who was a little boy in her class, came walking up to her from the back of the room. He stood with his hands on his hips and said loudly, "I'm not free. I'm four!"