Pappy sees Little Johnny walking with a lantern and asks, "Where ya going boy?"
The Johnny smiled and replied, "I'm a-going courting Peggy-Sue."
The Father said, "When I went a-courtin', I didn't need me no dang lantern."
"Sure Pa, I know," Johnny said, "and look what you got!"
The meal in the restaurant was awful. The diner asked to see the manager. When the manager came, the diner said, “I want to compliment you on your very clean kitchen.”
“Clean kitchen?” the manager asked. “Have you seen our kitchen?”
“No,” the diner replied. “But it must be clean because all the food tastes like soap.”
A woman drove a mini-van filled with a dozen screaming kids through the mall parking lot, looking for a space.
Obviously frazzled, she coasted through a stop sign.
"Hey, lady, have you forgotten how to stop?" yelled an irate man.
She rolled down her window and yelled back, "What makes you think these are all mine?"
Teacher: Little Johnny, why is the wall in China referred to as the "Great Wall?"
Little Johnny: Because the word "Swell" just didn't quite do it.