Following a heavy-metal rock concert, one punk rocker stopped at the front desk of the hotel and asked if she had any messages.
The desk clerk handed her an unsigned note, and she asked for a description of the person who had left it.
"That's easy," replied the clerk. "He wore tight orange-leather pants, high-heeled black boots and a T-shirt with strategically cut holes. I remember a row of colored safety pins through the outside edge of one ear, and he wore purple eyeshadow. And his hair was orange and spiked."
"Oh, man," she said, obviously disappointed, "that could be anybody."
A North Korean soldier was asked to measure the height of a comrade's rifle.
"I can't," he replied. "My ruler is only 12 inches."
The friend looked at him, rather confused, and said, "I actually think Kim Jong-un is taller than that."
A grocer put up a sign that read: "Eggplants, $0.25 each -- three for a dollar."
All day long, customers came in exclaiming: "Don't be ridiculous! I should get four for a dollar!"
Meekly the grocer capitulated and packaged four eggplants. The tailor next door had been watching these antics and finally asked the grocer, "Aren't you going to fix the mistake on your sign?"
"What mistake?" the grocer asked. "Before I put up that sign no one ever bought more than one eggplant."
Paul: What are you making?
Arthur: A brilliant new invention.
Paul: Ha, ha, ha, ha!
Arthur: Go ahead and laugh. They laughed at Edison, they laughed at Bell, they laughed at Geck.
Paul: Who's Geck?
Arthur: You mean you never heard of Charles Geck?
.
Paul: No, what did he invent?
Arthur: Nothing, but they sure laughed at him.