Latest Jokes

$15.00 won 4 votes

A grocer put up a sign that read: "Eggplants, $0.25 each -- three for a dollar."

All day long, customers came in exclaiming: "Don't be ridiculous! I should get four for a dollar!"

Meekly the grocer capitulated and packaged four eggplants. The tailor next door had been watching these antics and finally asked the grocer, "Aren't you going to fix the mistake on your sign?"

"What mistake?" the grocer asked. "Before I put up that sign no one ever bought more than one eggplant."

4 votes

CATEGORY Food Jokes
posted by "Ryan Faidley" |
$8.00 won 2 votes

Paul: What are you making?

Arthur: A brilliant new invention.

Paul: Ha, ha, ha, ha!

Arthur: Go ahead and laugh. They laughed at Edison, they laughed at Bell, they laughed at Geck.

Paul: Who's Geck?

Arthur: You mean you never heard of Charles Geck?
.
Paul: No, what did he invent?

Arthur: Nothing, but they sure laughed at him.

2 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
posted by "Dan the Man 009" |
$12.00 won 3 votes

My wife is a compulsive shopper.

She likes to buy everything that’s marked down.

Last night she brought home an escalator!

3 votes

CATEGORY Money Jokes
posted by "Dan the Man 009" |
$9.00 won 2 votes

ADULT: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.

BEAUTY PARLOR: A place where women curl up and dye.

CHICKENS: The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.

COMMITTEE: A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.

DUST: Mud with the juice squeezed out.

EGOTIST: Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.

HANDKERCHIEF: Cold Storage.

INFLATION: Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.

MOSQUITO: An insect that makes you like flies better.

RAISIN: A grape with a sunburn.

SECRET: Something you tell to one person at a time.

SKELETON: A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.

2 votes

posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |