Latest Jokes

One day I'd like to GO to Conclusions...

But you always have to jump to them, and I'm not much on physical activity.

I just can't stand people who look down on people who look down on people.

To the optimist, the glass is half full.

To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.

To the IT guy, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

The proprietor of a small village drugstore was called out one sleepy summer morning, leaving the establishment temporarily under the sole management of a very young, and very uneducated, clerk.

"Just answer the phone if it rings, Jim," instructed the proprietor.

The phone rang.

"Hello," said the clerk.

"Do you have streptomycin and aureomycin?" asked a voice at the other end.

The clerk scratched his head, then said, "Ma'am, when I said 'Hello' I told you everything I know."