Latest Jokes

$8.00 won 3 votes

My husband was going on a diet, but when we pulled into a fast-food restaurant, he ordered a milkshake. I pointed out that a shake isn't exactly the best snack for someone who wants to lose weight. He agreed, but he didn't change his order.

The long line must have given him time to make the connection between his order and his waistline. As the woman handed him his shake, she said, "Sorry about the wait."

"That's okay," he replied. "I'm going to lose it."

3 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
Joke Won 7th Place won $8.00
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |
2 votes
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Kenny, a city boy, moved to the country and purchased a car from a farmer for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the car the following day. The next morning, the farmer drove up and said, "Sorry, son, but I have some bad news. The car broke down."

"OK, well, just return my money to me," Kenny said.

"Sorry, can't do that," said the farmer. "I already spent it."

"OK then, just unload the car," said Kenny.

"Whatcha gonna do with it?" asked the farmer.

"I'm going to raffle it off," Kenny replied.

"You can't raffle off a broken-down car!" the farmer exclaimed.

"Of course I can," replied Kenny. "Watch me. I just won't tell anybody it doesn't work."

A few weeks later, the farmer met up with Kenny and asked, "So, what happened with the car?"

"I raffled it off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars a piece and made a profit of $898.00," explained Kenny.

"Didn't anyone complain?" inquired the farmer.

Kenny proudly replied, "Just the guy who won. So, I gave him his two dollars back."

2 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
posted by "HENNE" |
$5.00 won 2 votes

Women call me ugly occasionally, but that’s only until they hear how much money I make...

Then they say I’m poor and ugly.

2 votes

Joke Won 10th Place won $5.00
posted by "pinkgalaxy3" |
4 votes
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Did you hear about the ancient Egyptian man that launched a successful stone quarry business?

Turns out it was a pyramid scheme all along.

4 votes

CATEGORY Business Jokes
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |