Latest Jokes

"Last weekend I ran a half marathon!”

"Really?"

"Well no, not really, but it sounds so much better than saying 'I quit halfway through a full marathon.'”

The police rang me today to say they've recovered our stolen sofa...

Which I thought was nice of them, since it was starting to look scruffy and faded.

The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight.

Why?

Because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.