Latest Jokes
Favorite this joke Why did the librarian go to the chiropractor?
To get her spine fixed!
Garbage collectors were picking up our trash as my wife walked back into our house. A particular barrel was very heavy.
“Lady, we can’t take this,” one man called out. “It’s way over the weight limit.”
My wife turned her eight-month-pregnant figure toward him. “It didn’t seem that heavy when I carried it out,” she said.
Without another word, the man emptied the barrel into the truck.
This guy loved living in Staten Island, but he wasn't crazy about the ferry. If you missed a ferry late at night, you had to spend the next hour or so wandering the deserted streets of lower Manhattan.
So, when he spotted a ferry no more than fifteen feet from the dock, he decided he wouldn't subject himself to an hour's wait. He made a running leap and landed on his hands and knees, a little bruised maybe, but safe on deck.
He got up, brushed himself off, and announced proudly to a bystander, "Well, I made that one, didn't I?"
"Sure did," the bystander said. "But you should have waited a minute or two. The ferry is just about to dock."
Charley, a new retiree-greeter at Wal-Mart in The Villages, FL. just couldn't seem to get to work on time. Every day he was 5, 10, 15 minutes late. But he was a good worker, really tidy, clean-shaven, sharp-minded and a real credit to the company and obviously demonstrating their "Older Person Friendly" policies, especially around a Retirement Community.
One day the boss called him into the office for a talk. "Charley, I have to tell you, I like your work ethic, you do a bang-up job, but you're being late so often is quite bothersome."
"Yes, I know boss, and I am working on it."
"Well good, you are a team player. That's what I like to hear. It's odd though you coming in late. I know you're retired from the Armed Forces. What did they say if you came in late there?"
"They said, 'Good morning, Admiral, can I get your coffee, sir?'"
Free Daily Joke