At the weekly senior lunch, it came time for diners to share positive family stories. Grandpa was hard pressed and had to reach for a good one.
As he cleared his throat he said, "My grandson, in his first three little league games of the season, he has three no-hit games!"
"Wow!" Came of voice from the back. "Sounds like he's gonna be a great pitcher!"
After a pause, Grandpa stuttered, "Well, I meant as a batter..."
A man wants to celebrate his wife’s Birthday by throwing a party. So he goes to order a birthday cake. The salesman asks him what message he wants to put on the cake.
Well he thinks for a while and says, "Put 'You're not getting older,' at the top and 'You're getting better' at the bottom."
The real fun didn’t start until the cake was opened the entire party watched the message decorated on the cake:
"You're not getting older at the top, You're getting better at the bottom."