Latest Jokes

I hate hotel bath towels.

They’re so thick I can’t close my suitcase.

People call me self-centered...

But that’s enough about them.

Your dog's barking at the back door. Your spouse's barking at the front. Who do you let in?

Well, it's your call, but the dog'll stop barking when you let him in.

I've often been asked, "What do you do now that you're retired?"

"Well, I'm fortunate to have a chemical engineering background, and one of the things I enjoy most is turning beer, wine, Scotch, and margaritas into urine."