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Lisa: Sardines have to be the stupidest fish in the world.
Meg: Why do you say that?
Lisa: They crawl into cans, lock themselves in, and then leave the key on the outside.
Little Johnny raised his hand in class. The teacher asked, “Do you have a question Little Johnny?”
Little Johnny replied, “What time IT IS?”
The teacher then replied slowly and clearly, “What time IS IT...”
With a puzzled look on his face Little Johnny said, “If I knew that I wouldn’t have asked you.”
A woman walks into a police precinct and reports that her husband is missing. When the Sargent asked her how long her husband’s been missing she says, “Since last winter.”
Astonished, the Sargent asked, “Why did you wait till spring to report him missing?”
The woman replies, “Because the landscaping company is asking too much money to mow the lawn.”
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