Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly?
A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.
My husband has always had a beard. One day, he decided to shave it off. He came into the room where my 5-year-old daughter Samantha was and asked her, "Notice anything different?"
To which she replied, "No," with a puzzled look on her face.
My husband then said to her, "My beard's gone."
Now the puzzled look disappeared and the innocent eyes appeared when she said, "I didn't take it!"
Two children went into their parent's bathroom and noticed the scale in the corner.
"Whatever you do," cautioned one child to the younger one, "don't step on it!"
"Why not?" asked the sibling.
"Because every time mom does, she lets out an awful scream!"
Question: How can I avoid that terrible curse of unsightly wrinkles?
Answer: Take off your glasses.