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Two cartons of yogurt walk into a bar. The bartender, who was a tub of cottage cheese, says to them, "We don't serve your kind in here."
One of the yogurt cartons says back to him, "Why not? We're cultured!"
I was recovering from surgery when a charity representative phoned asking me to take part in a door-to-door fund-raising effort.
"Sorry," I replied, "but I've been incapacitated."
Undaunted, the caller kept trying to convince me to change my mind and volunteer.
I interrupted and said, "Listen to me. I'm incapacitated. Do you know what that means?"
She hesitated. "It means your head was cut off?"
I was scrubbing the bulkhead on the USS Kitty Hawk one Sunday morning when the loud-speaker announced, "Religious services. Maintain silence about the decks. Discontinue all unnecessary work."
An hour later, the opinion many of us held regarding our daily routine, was confirmed when the announcement rang loud and clear, "Resume all unnecessary work."
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