Latest Jokes

2 votes
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There was a lawyer who was a big U2 fan...

Yeah, he was pro-Bono!

2 votes

CATEGORY Lawyer Jokes
posted by "JCVD" |
2 votes
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I was making Play-doh animals with my four-year-old niece, Chris, and her three-year-old brother, Neil. While Chris was clearly molding a crude but recognizable dog, figuring what Neil was making was a bit more challenging.

"It's a cat," he told me, "but a truck ran over it."

Sometime later, Chris had made another simple animal shape, but Neil had a rather flat slab of dough on the table in front of him.

"What happened to this one?" I asked.

Neil shrugged and said simply, "Same truck."

2 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
posted by "HENNE" |
$15.00 won 4 votes

A woman rushed into the supermarket to pick up a few items. She headed for the express lane where the clerk was talking on the phone with the back turned to her.

"Excuse me," she said, "I'm in a hurry. Could you check me out, please?"

The clerk turned, stared at her for a second, looked her up and down, smiled and said, "Not bad."

4 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
Joke Won 3rd Place won $15.00
posted by "HENNE" |
$15.00 won 6 votes

10 reasons you might be an artist:

10) You were more concerned about the color of your car than the fuel consumption.
9) The highlights in your hair are from your palette and not Clairol.
8) You are having lunch with the girls and the fragrance you wear is eau d'linseed oil.
7) The only piece of new furniture you have in your home is a $2000 easel.
6) You butter your toast with your fingers, just to feel its texture.
5) You talk about going to a show where the pictures don't move.
4) You know what shade of green the lichen on the trees is.
3) You can't find a nice outfit for your date because everything has paint smears on.
2) Your date ends up with paint smears on her/him.

And the final reason you might be an artist...

#1) If you are over age 50 and still have no health insurance.

6 votes

Joke Won 3rd Place won $15.00
posted by "Benjones" |