The little church in the suburbs suddenly stopped buying from its regular office supply dealer. So, the dealer telephoned Deacon Brown to ask why.
"I'll tell you why," began Deacon Brown. "Our church ordered some pencils from you to be used in the pews for visitors to register."
"Didn't you receive them yet?"
"Oh, we received them all right," replied Deacon Brown. "However, you sent us some golf pencils... each stamped with the words, `Play Golf Next Sunday.'"
I saw a pen in a store the other day. I picked it up and took a look at it because it was prettier than most. The clerk said, "It's made in Germany."
I said, "That's too bad, I can't use it then."
The clerk said, "What's the matter? You don't like German pens?"
I said, "No, that's not it. I just never learned to write German."
A rookie pitcher is struggling on the mound, so the catcher walks up to have a quick talk with him.
"I think I've figured out your problem," the catcher tells the shaky pitcher. "You always lose control at exactly the same point in every game."
The pitcher feels a little relieved, thinking he has the answer to his issue. "When do I usually lose my control?" he asks his teammate.
"It's usually," the catcher admits, "right after the national anthem."