Latest Jokes

5 votes

"Sarcasm will get you nowhere in life," my boss told me.

"Well it got me to the 'International Sarcasm' finals in Santiago, Chile in 2009," I informed him.

"Really?" he asked.

"No," I said.

5 votes

CATEGORY Work Jokes
posted by "Adie Peter" |
$7.00 won 4 votes

What do the Tampa Bay Lightning and the Titanic have in common?

They both looked good until they hit the ice!

4 votes

CATEGORY Sport Jokes
Joke Won 8th Place won $7.00
posted by "ryry663" |
$9.00 won 3 votes

"Look at this mess!" roared an angry customer at a local cafe, pointing to his squashed doughnut.

"It's just as you ordered it, sir," the waitress replied meekly.

"What do you mean?" barked the customer.

"You told me to bring you coffee and a doughnut and step on it."

3 votes

CATEGORY Food Jokes
Joke Won 6th Place won $9.00
posted by "Retired Terp" |
$7.00 won 3 votes

A young man is reported to have approached the renowned composer Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart (one of the great musical prodigies of all time), and asked, "Herr Mozart, I have the ambition to write symphonies and perhaps you can advise me how to get started."

Mozart said, "The best advice I can give you is to wait until you are older and more experienced, and try your hand at less ambitious pieces to begin with."

The young man looked astonished. "But, Herr Mozart, you yourself wrote symphonies when you were considerably younger than I."

"Ah," said Mozart, "but I did so without asking advice."

3 votes

CATEGORY Musician Jokes
Joke Won 8th Place won $7.00
posted by "wadejagz" |