Latest Jokes

As a way to compensate for their absence, a group of golfing buddies decided to all pitch in twenty bucks and one with the best golf score would take their wife dancing and dinner. The wives liked this idea since it was more than they had before.

Fred's wife was especially wanting him to win and the moment he returned after golfing she excitedly asked, "Are we having a special dinner tonight Fred?"

"Yes we are my dear, how does Peking Duck sound?"

She said, "That sounds great."

Fred replied, "Good, while driving over the pond on the 7th hole, I accidentally hit one. All we need now is the recipe."

Man (to his boss): "Can we talk? I have a problem."

Boss: "Problem? No such thing, we call it an opportunity!"

Man: "Ok then, I have a serious drinking opportunity."

My boss calls me "the computer"...

Nothing to do with intelligence, I go to sleep if left unattended for 15 minutes.

Captain Hook, Captain Crunch, and Captain America walk into a bar. Hook says, "Ahoy mates, I'll buy the first round. Just let me go to the bathroom real quick."

The others wait and when Hook comes back Captain America asks, "Hey Hook, how bout those drinks?"

Hook yells, "Shove it up yer stars and stripes, ya flag waving boy scout!"

America turns to Crunch, "Why's he suddenly so irate?"

Crunch says, "Well, that's what happens when you take the P out of a pirate."