Latest Jokes

I had some words for my wife...

She had some paragraphs for me!

As a way to compensate for their absence, a group of golfing buddies decided to all pitch in twenty bucks and one with the best golf score would take their wife dancing and dinner. The wives liked this idea since it was more than they had before.

Fred's wife was especially wanting him to win and the moment he returned after golfing she excitedly asked, "Are we having a special dinner tonight Fred?"

"Yes we are my dear, how does Peking Duck sound?"

She said, "That sounds great."

Fred replied, "Good, while driving over the pond on the 7th hole, I accidentally hit one. All we need now is the recipe."

Man (to his boss): "Can we talk? I have a problem."

Boss: "Problem? No such thing, we call it an opportunity!"

Man: "Ok then, I have a serious drinking opportunity."

My boss calls me "the computer"...

Nothing to do with intelligence, I go to sleep if left unattended for 15 minutes.