The teacher in Little Johnnys class approached him and directed he go to the principal's office. When he got there, the principle said to him, "Little Johnny, I've had complaints about you from all your teachers. What have you been doing?"
Little Johnny replied, "Nothing, Sir!"
The principal replied, "EXACTLY!"
A young woman is visiting her parents. While helping her mother fix dinner, she opens the refrigerator. On the inside of the door, she sees a spicy picture of a lovely, slender, perfectly built young woman.
"What's this about, Mom?" she asks.
"Oh, I put that up there to remind me not to overeat," the mother answers.
"Is it working?" her daughter asks.
"Yes and no," her mom replies. "I've lost 15 pounds, but your dad has gained 20."